Contains graphic language. Not suitable for very young minds. Go cry to mummy.

Thoughts so far

I am being pulled by gravity to the state of melancholy and remorse. I feel extremely irrelevant to the world, probably because humans are nothing but a speck of dust compared to the immense scale of the universe; the same universe where tens of thousands of galaxies rest into a complete black hole of nothingness. Even the comparison of both ideas with one another is a compliment to being human. I mean, In reality, we have nothing of resemblance to a dust in parallel to the vastness of the entire intergalactic space. We may even be tinier than a subatomic particle. Sucks right? You exist in the world where it does not even recognize your actuality. That is the nearest description to the representation of my irrelevance in the environment I am in.

Some people might even result to a lecture that the answer to the million dollar problem is to just leave it all behind, and not think about it at all, for it being simple and such an incredibly shallow thought. To the people who say that you chose to be treated depending on how you are around everyone, or your attitude towards a person defines your relationship with them, and that you and only you perceive yourself as irrelevant or unimportant:

FUCK YOU and your lack of empathy.

People experience things differently – this is a cliché phrase that has been overused now, but happens to still be accurate. Apparently, things does not always happen to our liking and comfort. Now, your solution may be applicable to a few, but would you accept the fact that; (1) some people deal with certain challenges and no matter how hard they try to fit in, they always end up being the odd man out or the last one picked. It’s not a choice. And, (2) is it still their fault to care too much and not always having people to back them up and care about their existence? I don’t think so. So fuck you and your misconceptions about reality. Your optimism is killing me.

To make up for the extremely low spirits, you still secrete carbon dioxide that is essential to the flora A.K.A plant life. So, okay. Maybe we are not that irrelevant, and maybe I’m exaggerating.

Adios, bitches!


Where Rainbows End

I couldn’t begin to collect my thoughts, much more to put them into words and describe how I feel. One thing I am very sure of is that the eyes can be a tear factory just by reading a stack of papers bound together on the side (or in my case, a really heavy electronic material brilliantly engineered by the people who love their apples). I wouldn’t make things complex. As you know, I was reading a book (or an epub will do too) entitled Where Rainbows End, and it’s not a guideline about finding a pot of gold or how to avoid leprechauns when you’re there. It’s about stages of life in a few people’s perspective. I can only share what I learned, as I do not want to spoil anyone from having to experience living somewhere, re-living dreams, going places by your imagination, and be surprised by different twists (you name it).



Perfect picture ever. Can’t wait for the movie by the way!


All I can say is that life is a novel. It has different chapters, each is a bridge to deliver a better and meaningful plot. Chances are lost. New opportunities are found. People come, and so we eventually have to bid farewells to those who chose not to stay. There will be a few people in your life who will stick until the end, be sure to not take them for granted. Sucking in life from time to time is not that bad if you think of it. Just like what the guy next door imprints, “Mistakes are the portals of discovery” ;). You’re never too old to learn and educate yourself. And as for love in this story (Since it’s a romance novel), I would compare it to a moon viewed by an observer from the earth, it has different phases. Each one may be distinct from one another but the composition is the same thing. Only viewed in different perspectives (Oh what price I would pay to actually make sense of what I always wanted to say). I couldn’t say any more for I still want someone to discover what I had.

P.S Live your life and make it count. Can I get a hallelujah.



Some pointers in life:

  • Don’t listen to anyone who says your dream is too big. Nothing is impossible. Even ‘impossible’ says “I’m possible!”
  • Be a better person. Restore people’s faith in humanity.
  • Read more, and keep updated with the current events.
  • Set goals after another. The journey doesn’t stop there.
  • DO NOT EVER say anything when you’re mad.
  • If you feel sad, or gloomy, get out of the house.

The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Book Review)

“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time…”

You may think that our life ends when we die, but this books says no, it does not end like that. After death, comes the start of a new adventure. We all thought that heaven is just a single place, beautiful, and serene like the heaven version of the Wisteria Tunnel in Kitakyushu Japan, or more like Salar De Uyuni in Bolivia after the rain. But heaven is what you least expect it to be. In this world, everyone has a different version of their heaven, and it’s not an island in the Caribbean.

This book says you will meet five people that waits for you in heaven and each one has a story to share that somehow altered your life forever. Each one to tell you the role you played in their life and in earth when you were alive.

I’ve never really cried so hard just by reading a book. This book did not only made me teary eyed but somehow left a heavy feeling inside me, though in a good way which being inspired and moved is the aftermath.

This is a very good book and I recommend it for you to read!

What Disney Princesses taught me:


No one has that perfect hair. NO.

When I was young I love watching Disney movies, specially the princess movies. Don’t get me wrong, but I still do. I always dreamed of becoming a princess, to meet my knight and shining armor, the prince charming that will save you from the evil witch who turns out to be your step-mother. I even wondered if how many frogs I should kiss to find that perfect man that will make my dreams come true. Or should I pretend to be sleeping for a lot of days and months, expecting that a handsome prince will wake me up, and then we will live in a beautiful giant castle and experience happily ever after. Then I grew up and I realized that these things are all BULLSHIT. The fuck? For all of my life I’ve been told this lie that I am a damsel in distress and one day a prince will save me from my miseries. These stories should be banned you know.

Disney movies taught me to be hopeless romantic, to believe in true love and you go dancing and prancing in the rain and people wouldn’t suspect of you being bonkers. The person you’ve been wanting that will be the perfect match for you, and once you set your eyes on them, you’ll feel this deep connection and you become soulmates. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Welcome to the real world, princess. Unfortunately, there are no happy-ever-afters here; if it does exist then I will be with my first love, but no. Relationships go up and down, and being committed to someone, you have to compromise. You don’t want to find the prince charming that lives in a castle who will give you all you want. In the real world, the closest thing to a prince charming is Bill Gates and a sugar Daddy. I wouldn’t want that, why would I? And so, I somehow stopped these delusions that, one day, my prince will come and save me. True love is not being star crossed lovers, like Romeo and Juliet. They do not exist! If you say you are, then you should go kill yourself. It’s the only way you could be like them. All I want to say is that, be realistic with love. Not all love is going to end up with happiness, sometimes, there is pain, heartaches and too much drama, but like I said, you need to compromise. Now that is realistic.

P.S. Save your kids, don’t let them watch Disney movies.

Gap Year and what I did not have the chance to experience.

Why am I not given the chance to experience a whole lot of things before going to college, seriously? You did not know how much I like this gap year to happen, but it just don’t exist in my country, which by the way is The Philippines. To whoever you are that is reading this, you are probably wondering why am I ranting so much just because I did not experience this gap year.

After Highschool, we make certain decisions before going to college. That decision is about what do you want to pursue and what you want to become. As a 16 year old Highschool graduate (I’m 18 now), I can say that my decisions and goals in life are not that clear to me. I am young back then and I am not that sure of what I really want to achieve. Most of my batchmates are quite clear with their goals but unfortunately, there are those who are undecided, just like me. And you know, these choices are going to define your future, your work, and all the stuff that will make you a responsible adult, and what not?

So, why do I really want this Gap Year  to happen? It is because I want to have that time to figure out what path should I take, what choices in life should I make, and might I repeat, will “define your-my future”, so that I don’t end up with the wrong decisions in life that will make me miserable.

SADLY, as you know, it did not happen. Now I am stuck with a decision that I didn’t even like. I am not saying that broadcasting, productions, and media is a bad course. It is nice but, it’s not my best interest anymore. Yes, I wanted to become a journalist, or even a director, but gurl, people change, I changed. Then, I realized that, it’s not my passion really. I always wanted to do art and anything that involves art, but shifting is not the best option because I’m in my third academic year, 2 more years and it’s graduation. So… you gotta do what you gotta do.

I just hope that parents will help their kids into achieving their goals and what they really want in life so they will be happy in what they do. Guide them in making decisions, not impose yours. Because when you are truly happy in what you’re doing, you’ll eventually come up with great results.