I guess this year has been very dramatic for me. It’s funny how in just a year, a lot can happen that people around you change and you can totally be a different person from what you are 9 months ago. I have been through a lot of tough decisions and probably chose the wrong choices that made my life suck, for a little while though. Heartaches that have kept me thinking late at night, and made me write a song about it, or even a meaningful paragraph from it. Imbalanced emotions that is making me furious and unstable, but completely healthy. Mistakes that of course questioned my entire existence, but then of course, I was told to not let these mistakes define you. On the other hand, for you to use it as a reminder and to guide you to be a strong person, that you are right now (for the fact that you are here). And happiness, different kinds of happiness that became a note that life doesn’t really suck that much if you just believe that as long as you live, good things happen.
As the year passed by, there are a lot of people who made a huge impact and I am happy that they did. Some of them surprised me as they walked into my life. Some of them gave it a whole new meaning, and changed my perception. Some people stayed and I am thankful for that. But I was more devastated when some of them chose to leave. Although I can’t do anything about it, I still am grateful that they’ve stayed with me even for a little bit of time. And for the memories they left, that I will cherish and remember.
I still can’t believe how I manage to survive 2013 without giving up. I mean, I practically back off when I get so problematic. And yes, I’m a bit of a scared-y cat, but this year’s different. I have stopped crying over certain shallow things ( well, sometimes I do), sucking it all up and being a grown independent young woman. HA! I am starting to consider that I am finally making sense of my environment. I finally understand some things that my knowledge can’t grasp before. I became more mature. I have learned a lot this year, and as a very sensitive young lad, it can’t stop me from channeling my inner cry baby. New doors are about to open and I can’t wait to get in. I can’t wait to know what is it like on the other side of the door. I know this phrase is already used, in Helvetica font, above a layer of a retro photograph, but then, I really hope 2014 will be good to me. To shape me into a better person, and to learn A LOT. I am looking forward to that. Damn this end of the year feels.
New year, new me. *rips skin off*