My thoughts for tonight:
- Based on my incredibly unorganized working place, I really need a new desk.
- I am in desperate need of regenerating my fried brain cells and get it working again. And by that I mean, I need an inspiration.
I have been sitting on this chair comfortably and staring at my screen for more than an hour now and I can’t still think of anything to write at all. I am thinking of new goals this coming 2014 and one of it is having to write a story. I did quite a few, but I would really like this one to be successful unlike those ones that I made, and got so tired to finish. To be honest, with fiction, I have never really finished writing them. Time will eventually come and I will just stop thinking about what’s going to happen with my fallen heroine. Maybe because I’ve never actually thought about being serious with it.
Sometimes, I just wish that I still have my creative brain that I have when I was in my Highschool, where ideas keep appearing in just a snap, I could even write a cheesy song about puppy love, and that I don’t have to worry about what to write because I am inspired as fuck. Now, I feel so drained about everything. It’s like I have experienced a lot things about growing up, but I don’t really know how to use them and compose them into a beautiful masterpiece. I fear being older makes me boring. Well, being old does make you boring (No offense though). But, I am not that old, I am eighteen. I should be living my life and being young. I just think that maybe I am way too locked up in my hard as iron shell that I am unintentionally getting rid of all the great things that is supposed to happen. Maybe nature is calling me to get out of my cocoon and fly away. But then, how can I know when I am just here, blogging about it and not doing anything to make it happen? Damn, I wish I was more independent. Sucks to have crazy parents. I mean, not bonkers crazy, but strict crazy.